Amongst the Storm
by missfixx
Summary: My Zutara month entries.
1. Hidden

Hidden-

Katara had to admit that sometimes she didn't believe in love. She thought that maybe emotion was just an idea forced into the heads of all humans. That someone said emotion was real and people decided to feel it.

Then she would feel anger and it came in flashes directed toward her childish "boyfriend". She would lash out and feel that emotion boil inside of her and she'll know. Anger, sadness, it's real.

But love? She wasn't sure. She looked at Aang and listened to his sugar-coated words and knew that he was the best she would ever get. He was sweet and kind and anything she could've asked for, but why didn't she feel butterflies and fireworks? Love?

"Gram gram?" The old women was sitting on the fur pallets of the southern water tribe igloos with Katara. As soon as the war had ended Katara had come home and Aang had come with her. He couldn't stay long though. Avatar business she supposed.

"Yes?" Her voice was old and comforting.

"Did you ever love someone?" Katara had matured a lot in these past few months without Aang. Or anybody else for a matter of fact. She was not lonely though she was content. Her blue eyes were older and sadder, her body had filled out in the way it does when you turn fifteen. Her ever present hair loopies were gone. Her hair was never braided. Always down untamable curls. Katara treasured the times Gram Gram pulled a comb through her hair.

"Love is a complicated thing Katara." Old wise eyes settled on Katara's slumped shoulders. Suddenly the flap of fabric covering their igloo was pushed open.

"A fire nation ship is here!" Katara startled before standing up abruptly and putting the hood of her parka up. Her hair poked out the sides but she didn't bother to tuck it back. A fire nation ship wasn't scheduled to come for a few weeks.

Katara came out of the igloo and ran towards the smoke she saw billowing out of a small fire nation vessel. Not a trades ship. The snow crunched below her thick fur boots and hardly slowed her down. By the time she reached the wall they had worked to rebuild men were walking down the metal ramp to the snow. They were wearing fire nation red parkas and their usual pointed toe boots. When they stopped at the bottom a few stepped aside before one stepped forward and lowered his hood.

"Is it always this cold here, Katara?" A smile broke across her face and she ran forward before throwing her arms around him.

"Zuko!" He was knocked backwards and caught off guard. She heard his throaty laugh and felt his arms go around her waist.

"I missed you too much not to visit. You just left us, Katara. All of us. You didn't even come and see me."

"I'm sorry." She felt a pang. Guilt. That emotion was real too.

"I'm ready to forgive you." She felt something else. Nostalgia.

"Zuko.." Katara didn't let go. How could she let go of him? Being away from everyone had given here enough time to forget how to miss someone. But now she missed him. She missed everyone. She didn't belong here anymore. She knew where she belonged now. And she knew what love was.

"Katara come back with me. Please come back with me. You can be the ambassador for the southern water tribe. You are important to the fire nation. You are important to me."

And then there it was. A burst of painful warmth in her chest. It coated her heart and sent the same warm feeling through her veins and to her fingertips. It was hidden inside her heart and it pushed and shoved against her ribs and she welcomed it because she knew that she needed it.

Her hood fell back and she pressed her cold cheek against his warm unscarred one as she whispered to him, "I don't love Aang." She felt the edge of his mouth tip up into a small smile.

"And I don't love Mai."


	2. Sleep

Sleep-

Leaving Gran Gran was just as difficult as Katara had feared it would be. It was a week long process of tight hugs and sad smiles.

Every step up the ramp got heavier and heavier; then she would feel the warmth emanating off of the body behind her and take a glance over her shoulder at the always frowning face, and that in itself was enough reassurance.

The ship knocked her off balance as it began it's journey.

Her arm was flailing back and forth as she stood on the edge of the boat and watched her small village grow even smaller. She was pressed against the rail and when she couldn't see it anymore she leaned farther over the rail in a panic only to pull back at the sound of Zuko's yells of protest.

The next few nights her sleep was interrupted by the moon and the water surrounding her. She would come on deck and water bend as much as she could in her restricting parka. She would stop when her breath became ragged and sweat pooled under her thick clothes. When she collapsed on her knees on the deck she could see her breath in the air. She watched it until her breathing slowed down. She sat there with her thoughts until her legs tingled from disuse. Then very slowly she would stumble back to her room and collapse on her bed for the few hours until dawn.

After a few nights of the same thing Zuko began to notice the bags under her eyes and the way she drifted off at breakfast.

The fourth night she came out of her room he was sitting against the wall with his legs stretched out. He had on casual cotton clothes similar to those that he wore at the Southern Air Temple.

She paused in her door way and she stared down at him. He looked up at her and his eyes widened slightly.

"Where are your clothes?!" His cheeks flushed and he looked away. He rubbed the back of his neck as he stood up.

"I didn't think anyone was going to be awake. These are my bending clothes" Katara was in her white bindings and utterly appalled. "Why are you waiting outside my room?!" Her tone was full of anger and frustration. He turned around suddenly. Glaring straight into her blues eyes.

"I was making sure YOU were okay!"

"Yeah well I'm not some little kid! I'm a big girl now Zuko! I can take care of myself!" Her anger came like thunder and she realized it felt good to revert to their old bickering ways.

"Are you sure? Because the last time I checked... You haven't been sleeping." The way he said it, she knew he was done arguing, but she wasn't sure if she was ready for that.

"What do you care?" He let out a frustrated growl and turned around and started walking down the hall. He was pulling one of his hands through his hair.

"I care more than you know." He said it over his shoulder and without stopping. When he was out of sight she walked back into her room and crawled under the silk sheets of the bed.

Maybe a little sleep wasn't bad for her.


	3. Confession

Confession-

On their last few days on the ship Katara had began to look more like her old self. She was waking up early and pestering the cooks into letting her help with the meals. She made sure that every single crew member had food before she allowed herself a bite. Some found it amusing that a teenage girl was capable of making a grown man look like a child. Others rolled their eyes and held their chin high. Zuko didn't talk to her. He hasn't talked to her since the night she found him outside her room. She had just served lunch to a few men and was taking her food to the deck to eat in the sun.

The fire nation rays were beating down on her skin and she smiled as she let her bare calves dangle off the edge of the ship. Water splashed at her ankles as it slapped against the side. She felt her hair frizzing as it fell down her back in the humidity. She picked up one of the spicy dumplings and nibbled on it suspiciously.

"It's not going to kill you." Katara shrieked and the dumpling flew out of her hand and into the water below.

"My dumpling." A frown surfaced on her mouth and she turned to glare at the person who made her drop part of her cold lunch. Her cheeks turned red and her eyebrows shot up. "Zuko?" He sat down next to her and threw his legs over the side. He was glaring at the waves.

"Just listen okay?" Katara dropped one of her eyebrows and snorted at him.

"Oh, so now you have something to say to me?"

"Would you please just listen to me?" Zuko dropped his head into his hands and dug his fingers into his hair. The smirk on Katara's face faded and she looked at him confused.

"What-"

"Katara. Stop talking for a second and listen. Can you please do that?" He popped his head up and stared at her and she nodded her head so fast her head started to hurt. He sighed and didn't look away. "We get to the capital today, and I don't want to be fighting. I'm done fighting with you. I want to talk to you for once without the argument. I just want to talk. Be your friend. I want.." He paused with his hands in the air. They were tense along with his entire body. He was stuttering and unsure. "I want to be your friend. Or maybe more than just your friend." His one good eye widened at the confession that Katara supposed he accidentally let slip. His smooth cheek turned pink all the way up to his ear. A hand flew to her chest over her heart and she did the only thing she knew how to do with Zuko.

She hit him on his arm.

"Okay, but you owe me a dumpling."


	4. Garden

Garden-

Katara had known this would happen. That Aang would want to talk with her alone, and that he would be overly affectionate. What she didn't expect was for him to pull her into the garden and send Zuko an icy glare. She had no idea he was capable of glaring at anyone.

She barely had time to admire the beautiful flowers and trees as Aang walked briskly through the green grass. He didn't stop until he reached the small turtle duck pond. He dropped her hand like it had physically pained him to hold it. Katara cradled it to her chest and didn't allow herself to be hurt by his thoughtless actions.

He stayed standing even when Katara folded her legs under her to sit down. She reached a loving hand out to the small animals in the pond; one snapped at her and she yanked her hand back.

Breath pushed at the backs of her teeth at the same time Aang turned back to her. He had grown a few inches and his voice cracked every once in a while. He was still the same kid even if the war had aged his soul.

"Aang..." She shook her head as all of the thoughts she wanted to turn to words flew through her brain. She didn't know what to say. Aang stared down at her and Katara tried to stare back through the suns rays but ended up squinting at the ground instead.

"It's okay, Katara." He smiled at her and her eyes filled with tears. He sat down next to her. "I already know."

"I'm sorry Aang." He was crying now.

"It's okay." He blushed and looked down at his hands that were too big for his body. "I guess you aren't my forever girl."

"There'll be someone Aang. You'll find her, I promise." She was hugging him now and he was resting his forehead on her shoulder. His fingers were digging into her bare back below the fabric of her red fire nation outfit. She felt his tears leaving a trail down the side of her torso until it was absorbed by the cotton fabric of her top. He left her arms as soon as he had come. He rubbed at his eyes with the balls of his hands. He stood up and Katara's arms were still wrapped around the ghost of him. She dropped them as Aang walked away from her. Left her there.

By the time she made it back to Zuko, Aang was gone.


	5. Sadness

Sadness-

For the next few days Aang stayed away, and Zuko reassured her that he would come back. He had left Appa and Momo behind, after all.

Katara closed the door to the room Zuko gave her and decided to allow herself a few moments of self-pity; those few moments quickly turned into a few days of a hollowed out heart and single bites of whole meals.

It was a loud sort of sadness that could be felt throughout the palace even if she didn't feel it in her own bones. Zuko felt it most of all. He sat by her bedside and forced her to eat, and when she wouldn't he would leave frustrated only to come back after sitting for tea with Iroh.

He knew this kind of loneliness and he knew this kind of pain. All he wanted was for her to be back to her old self, but all she could do was lay down and worry about Aang. One night he had fallen asleep in the chair next to her bed with a bowl full of soup in his hands. He woke up in the middle of the night to Katara mumbling.

"It's all my fault."

Over and over until finally she woke up and yelled at him for being a creep.

As soon as he left the room he felt relief pool over him because at least she was yelling at him. After a week the spell had lifted and Katara was finally getting her proper tour. Zuko had her fitted for fire nation clothes and she was beginning to smile again. She was introduced to the job as the Ambassador/Representative of the Southern Water Tribe.

A week after Aang left a letter came from the Southern Water Tribe. A nice servant girl had brought it out to her while she sat in the garden in her new blue silk dress. (She had insisted on blue)

Sweat collect at the small of her back as she swiftly unrolled it. Her eyes fell over the carefully written characters. By the time she had reached the last word that sadness she had done such a good job of subduing came back like a hurricane. Zuko had just come out to join her after a meeting; all he saw was a flurry of blue fabric and a crumpled scroll in the water. The characters were illegible no matter how hard he looked at it.

When he found her sitting on the balcony of her room she was a mess. She was all rushed words and jagged breaths; Zuko caught Gran-Gran and gone, but that was all. And he knew this was just one other thing to add to her list of painful things.

The loss of a family member weighs heavily on one's heart.


	6. Quiet

Quiet-

Aang came back in a quiet flurry. He had come in on dinner to find everyone waiting for him. Toph, Sokka, Suki, Zuko, and Katara. Even Hakoda was there. They stared at each other and no one spoke. They embraced and silently reconnected with each other.


End file.
